lonely and desperate

Who are the Miao?

As an ethnic group, the Miao mostly reside in the mountainous areas of southern and southwestern China. People also call them Hmong. Many of their excellent hand crafted works are well known to the world, like embroidery, batik, and silver jewelry. The Miao like to get together singing and dancing to enjoy life during holidays. Youngsters are busy with searching for their lovers at this moment.

Flirting

If a man shows interest in a girl, he will follow her and may suddenly give her finger a gentle pinch. The girl will look back and give the man a sweet smile; or only ignore him if she has no interest.

“Asking for candy” is an excuse for some men to flirt with girls.” He will try to ask for some candy from a girl, and if she shows no interest, she will give a reply,” I have no candy anymore, go to ask somewhere else.” But if the girl has a good feeling for the man, she would give a signal, “just follow me.” Then she leaves. Following her, the man goes to the riverside or woods to have a chat together.

Dating

When going on a date, Miao lovers have their own signs to indicate the place and time to meet. The one who comes first will use some grass to form a knot and give a particular sign leading the other to the meeting place.

Every single sign has an implication. A bee braided by couch grass signifies: I am now waiting here, will you come or not? A dragonfly made of a vanilla plant indicates: I will see you in the same place, come here soon please! A grasshopper suggests: I feel terribly sorry, but I am not able to see you now. Grass interweaved with a white flower suggests: we are finished as you have been always breaking our dates.

When another one reaches there, she/will use the same bundle of grass to make a second knot meaning “don’t bother us”.

When they have met for a few times, the couple will swap their personal things. The man gives the girl his tobacco pipe or waistband, and the girl gives her embroidered shoes or silver ornaments to the man.

Marriage

When a Miao couple decides to get married, they will tell their parents, who then ask a matchmaker to fix the wedding date.

But if the parents have an objection to this, then a funny thing is about to happen. The man will bring some people to “break” the girl’s home at night to “kidnap” her and take her to his home. Three days later, the man’s family will send an old respectable family member with a chicken to inform the girl’s parents, and ask them to agree.

C. Liu has been studying and researching Miao culture for a long time. From time to time she gives support to the work of some Miao artists. Go to her website to learn more about Miao culture and see fine Miao silver jewelry here.

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