lonely and desperate

We never really got any training on how to apologize powerfully.  Sure, all of us know how to say I’m sorry.  But if you did your ex wrong and now you want them back, you’re going to need to say something much more powerful than I’m sorry.

There is a free course you can download instantly on this at Get Ex Back In Hours.

There are, however, other levels of apologizing.  There are much more impactful ways of saying Im sorry.  When your relationship has ended because you did something wrong and your ex kicked you out,  you will likely need to make a power apology.

Power apologies have several steps to them before you ever get around to saying I’m sorry.  They can get your ex to a place of forgiveness and reconnection sometimes in just minutes or hours when followed step by step.  Here are the crucial steps to apologizing in a way that can your ex to forgive you:

The very first step is to admit to what you did wrong.  Be an adult.  Don’t give a bunch of lame excuses like “it didn’t mean anything!”  When you own up to what you did wrong, your ex can begin to take your apology seriously.

The second step is to mirror their feelings.  This is powerful relationship intelligence.  How do you mirror their feelings?  You say something like I know what I did hurt you, and made you feel betrayed, and sad.  You tell your ex how what you did made them feel.  Mirroring their emotional state is potent emotional intelligence.   Your ex will start to feel really heard.

The third thing is to let them vent and get their hurt feelings off their chest.  You listen and let them tell you how they feel about what you did.  You just want to make them feel heard and understood, so you listen and don’t defend or try to explain yourself.

To understand more about the power of venting, you can check out the information at a site on Relationship Intelligence.

This is a Power Apology.  You have owned up to what you did, mirrored their hurt feelings, and then shut up and listened as they vented and released their negative feelings all over you.  If you allow your ex to hear you follow these steps, they will now be much closer to being able to forgive you.

Now that you have done these things first, you can now say I’m sorry.  Rather than rush in with I’m sorry, if you wait til after you’ve followed the three prior steps your apology will be much more likely to be accepted.

Part 2 of this article discusses the steps to take after you’ve apologized, and it can be seen here at Get Ex Back Part 2.

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