lonely and desperate

The number one concern of parents who decide to get divorced is the impact of family divorce and their children’s well being. By understanding the fears of children whose parents are getting divorced, knowing what parents can do to help address and alleviate those fears, and doing those things, parents can help their children through what will probably be the roughest time of a child’s life.

Being Afraid

Divorcees and their children have to be concerned. Their world has been turned upside down, and their future is suddenly uncertain. Parents can reduce the uncertainty – and the stress and fear – by working out all these details before they even tell the children about the divorce, so they can answer all the child’s questions at one time.

Where Will They Live?

Kids are aware that their parents will be living in different housing from now on. The child is never going to have her mother and father instantly available to her at the same time under one roof where they all live. This knowledge is extremely stressful, especially in cases where the family home has to be sold or where parents live in different cities after the divorce.

Children fearing divorce and change get through this ordeal by ridding their stress associated and uncertainty with the help of their parents.

How Will Their Time Be Divided Between Their Parents?

Children and divorcing parents know all about visitation and split parenting time, because they no doubt have friends whose parents are divorced. From these friends, the children know there will be change and confusion about who is going to pick them up from school, where they will spend holidays, how they will get their homework done, who will feed them, or where they will sleep.

Even when the divorced family gets along extremely well, visitation is the most stressful aspect of children of divorce. After all, who among us would take a job that required us to split our time, 50/50, between two different locations? Not many. Having two homes in two different places, and having to shuttle all our stuff back and forth between the two of them, would be too stressful for many adults to undertake. Yet divorcing parents expect children to adapt and adjust.

Many divorced parents have adopted the practice of leaving the children in the family home and having the parents be the ones who move in and out of the picture. Not everyone will agree with the arrangements, but it could be the best way for both parties to deal with the issue of divorce and children.

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