lonely and desperate

It has been said numerous times that there can not be a healthy gay relationship because almost all gay men are laden with issues. This, of course, is about as far from the truth as the idea that all straight relationships are great reflections of “family values.” All of the rhetoric and the blabber that has been posted, written, or stated into an overpriced microphone regarding the health of the gay relationship is only applicable to you if you want it to be.  Being a man in a gay relationship is a basically natural process for any gay or bisexual man.

The secret to a good and healthy gay relationship is the same secret that makes all the relationships in your life either healthy or unhealthy. Does your partner respect you? Do you respect him? Do the two of you work through issues or does one of you turn toward some sort of mind altering substance while the other one broods in a corner? A healthy relationship is found in our behaviors toward each other.

Of course, an unhealthy gay relationship can either be terminated or it can be improved if that’s what you guys want. An unhealthy relationship can also be left to fester in its own infection and worsen over time. What you choose to do about the health of every relationship in your life is completely up to you.

Friends, parents, lovers, boyfriends, and partners are all going to display an unhealthy behavior from time to time. So are you.  It happens with straight men and with gay men alike.

This is because no one is really truly the picture of health, even if we knew what that picture looked like. For most of us, it looks close to something that makes us happy, makes us feel safe, and offers security.

There are many things that you can do that give you the opportunity to change the direction of your relationship. There is nothing that confirms that a gay relationship is destined to be forever struggling. You and your partner can give each other the tools and support to find your own voices and the power to use them. You and your partner can give each other the space to grow and the shoulder to give you the next boost up.

A solid and powerful gay relationship is one that allows you to be exactly who you are while giving you new room to grow into the man you’re becoming. You might find that eventually the options that you have in front of you are the key element to discovering what is important to you. Blending your professional life and your personal life isn’t necessary, but hiding your gay relationship so deeply under a haze of deception is bound to come back to haunt you.

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